What do you do when you feel stuck?
My usual MO is to push and push and attempt to “figure out” the problem, write down a whole bunch of possible solutions, and create a list of the resources I need to “make things happen”.
While this approach often does work, not always. In fact, sometimes the more I push and plan and strategize – the most stuck I feel. That’s when I give up – not quit, but give up my idea of how things “should” work out.
Have a great day,
Do you ever find that you really want to move ahead, but you aren’t doing what needs to get done?
Hectic schedules can be a good “excuse”, but there’s usually more to it. Fear, doubt, and/or not seeing a clear pathway could be underlying reasons. Yet there are solutions.
First, decide that you really want to do the thing that is stalled. Second, recommit to it. Third, find things that you are willing to do and feel capable of completing. Finally, move at the pace that feels comfortable for you. Then being stalled will become a thing of the past.
Act even a little today,
It has been said: “Everyone has a unique mission.” While I believe this in the depths of my life, understanding my specific mission is another story.
On one particularly frustrating day I quizzed a wise friend about my mission “confusion”. “Anita,” Jay told me, “your mission is not confined to one place or activity. Start with a dream. Add your strengths. Apply them at home and at work. You will experience your mission.”
“Okay,” I replied not really believing Jay. Yet I still gave it a shot – and Jay was right. My home, work, and community are great places to live my mission. You can, too.
Take one action toward your dream today and observe how your mission can unfold.
It was once said, “The ocean is made of drops.” So are your dreams.
If there is something that you really desire but are intimidated by, all that stands between you and your dream.
Realize that you control the pace. You can take lots of steps or just a few at a time. It’s all up to you. Either way, you will make progress as long as you exert yourself each and every day.
Enjoy your progress today,
While recovering in the hospital after being crushed by an elevator, I met an extraordinary man. Melvin’s both arms and legs had been burned off after 12000 volts of electricity went through his body.
During an interview for a local cable show I wondered how he kept up his own spirits. “Anita,” he told me, “I was feeling really sorry for myself just this morning. I momentarily wished I had died. I stopped myself and wheeled myself down the hall to cheer up someone else. I made his day and that made my day.”
So the next time you are feeling sorry for yourself, pick up the phone or walk down the hall or street and say hello to someone who could just need to hear from you. You’ll likely make her day and yours in the process.
Enjoy your day,
Do you usually have hope?
Sometimes circumstances can hide hope under a cloak of doubt and fear, yet it’s always there if you look for it. There are hopeful stories everywhere – even in the midst of challenge, tragedy, and sadness.
The next time you need a little hope, ask for it when you self-reflect, pray, or meditate. Then listen. Your answer will likely show up in the voice of a friend, family member, colleague, or stranger.
“I just want you know that my situation is different,” said Todd when he walked into my office. “What works for the other people you see just won’t work for me.”
When people say this, they often FEAR that this is true, yet it rarely is.
So the next time you lament that a current challenge is too big for the tools and strategies that helped you in the past pause. Start by looking at the fear and list at least six ways that you could handle things more effectively.
Enjoy your day,
Many believe that who they are is what they do – Student, Stay-at-Home Mom, Investment Banker, Entrepreneur – and form their sense of self-worth based on this “identity.”
Yet this is a limiting and even unhealthy way to live. At some point, you will graduate, your children will grow up and move out of your home, and you will retire from your job and with it your described role and function in life.
So consider looking at yourself another way – what personal qualities do you possess that encompass all of your roles. Things like integrity, curiosity, enthusiasm, and compassion. Underneath you are a complete and perfect human being. So why not start there.
Have a great day,
A friend of mind was in a really terrible situation at work. Her direct managers harassed her, humiliated her in public, and made her life on the job miserable. It went on for over two years this way until she took action on two fronts.
First, she documented everything and brought it to HR – and while that got things rolling, it was not enough.
Second, she prayed to be able to let go of a grudge she was holding against her managers. Given that she felt justified, this was no easy task. Yet when she did, work improved dramatically.
So where do you need to stand up for yourself and where do you need to step out of your own way to do it?
Why do two people look have the same dream – one sees it as impossible while the other sees it as possible?
Often the difference between fantasy and a doable dream is an infusion of practical imagination – the ability to see new possibilities along with the means to make them a reality. This is talent and art that can be learned by virtually anyone.
Start with a good teacher – you will some of the best around in kindergarten and first grade classes.