Are You a Success Ally or a Frenemy?

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”  Martin Luther King Jr.

It’s one thing to have individuals who want to see you fail say mean, nasty, or ugly things about you. Yet if you recognize their motives, the negative words will feel no heavier than a soap bubble landing on your big toe. Yet when a friend knows you need an ally and “pretends” to be at a loss for words, that’s a wound with a scar that never completely heals – for either party. So next time you find it “easier” to clam up than to speak up for a friend, share one word of support. It could make all the difference.

Thanks,
Anita

Write an Encouragizer Note and Positively Change Your Life

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Motivated Through the Speed Bumps

Sometimes I have a hard time saying motivated. To say that I am easily discouraged is an understatement. So I devise what I call “a motivation kit for a 5 year old” – with no disrespect to the youngsters. My kit consists of books and articles of comeback stories, sudoku puzzles to recharge my brain, and music that inspires me and makes me smile – and lots of each. I also have a list of friends close at hand who remind me of my good stuff and cheer me on – I do the same for them.

Each time I feel insecure, distracted, or discouraged, I pull out one of the items from my kit and use it to get me going again – especially those phone numbers for calls, texts, and Skyping.

This works brilliantly. Give it a go and sail through your goals.

Have a great weekend,
Anita

Is Your Success Being Derailed?

A wise friend once told me, “Complaining steals your good fortune – love, health, success – all that good stuff.” Not so humbly I thought what he said was a crock. Little grumbles, bits of gossip here and there, sharing a story about an annoying acquaintance – what harm is there?

What I have come to learn is that my friend is right – complaining robs us of time that could be better spent adding positive value to ourselves and our world. And – at a very practical level – making a practice of sharing negative thoughts with others ultimately separates us from the people and resources we want and need to make our goals and dreams a reality.

Have a happy (and complaint free day,)
Anita

Are You Finding the Good Stuff?

I was chatting with a friend yesterday about what happens when we face obstacles and challenge them. “Think of it this way,” she said. “Transformation is when the BIG stuff occurs and personal change is what I do a little every day.” I must admit, I have some brilliant friends.

Her comments made me step back and reflect. No wonder transformation feels like such an enormous thing. It is the result of many steps, detours, and tiny actions that are nearly imperceptible – except in retrospective with lots of distance and perspective. On top of that, some people (read “Anita,”) often don’t see the gains unless pointed out by others.

So I am going to follow my friend’s advice and make small personal changes (without rules, a regimen, or strict plan.) What I will add is a weekly debrief so that I can “remind” myself of all the good stuff that I am accomplishing.

You might consider a similar approach.

Happy Wednesday,
Anita

Write an Encouragizer Note and Positively Change Your Life

Are You Big and Bad Enough to Win?

The first and great commandment is, don’t let them scare you. Lemer Davis

Some people like to play an intimidation game. They believe that winner takes all and loser gets Zip! Remember, it’s just a game and if you take it too seriously you could easily feel victimized. Center yourself, don’t allow yourself to get swayed by aggressive posturing, and you’ll come out on top.

Also, remember that sometimes underneath big and bad is plain old scared.

Thanks,
Anita

Write an Encouragizer Note and Positively Change Your Life

Accelerating Unrealized Growth

My friend, Susan, recently told me, “It’s not personal, no matter how personal it seems.”

In the midst of a challenging time with a close friend, I was having a hard time wrapping my head around Susan’s statement. Then it dawned on me – I will never be able to get my mind to grasp this. The understanding Susan is talking about must come from my heart – in compassion, appreciation, and all starting with courage. Accelerating my growth absolutely requires a brave heart – to see things differently, to realize that I am not the center of the universe, and that when others are suffering – looking away leads to contraction, atrophy, and the dangerous feeling of apathy.

So today, if you feel slighted, annoyed, or angered by another’s “flaws,” pause. It’s not personal – unless you have the ultimate daring to reflect on yourself first.

Have a great Monday,
Anita

One of the Greatest Gifts You Can Give

When you imagine a fabulous gift, perhaps visions of fast cars, expensive jewelry, or lavish vacations to exotic locales bubbles up from you brain. While these are wonderful gifts ideas that I personally love to receive, there is something that individuals cherish even more than these. They want your undivided attention – not the multi-tasking type when you only give a part of you.

So today, when you are chatting with a friend, colleague, or family member, give him your complete focus. You may learn something new, exciting, and interesting about this person and he will feel the great gift you are giving him.

Thanks,
Anita

Write an Encouragizer Note and Positively Change Your Life

Blame and Complain. When What?

Boy is it easy to complain about how things are unfair and blame people, circumstances, and organizations for our troubles. But what good does it do? Not much, except mire the person in negativity – which is an endless path to nowhere. Instead, be a True Optimist – know the reality and actively search for the good.

If anyone has “good reason” to blame and complain, it’s Peggy. She has cerebral palsy and her speech is almost impossible to understand. She spent years in a nursing home, but through planning and four years of effort she moved into her own apartment. Her landlord laughed when he saw her. “You’ll never make it,” he claimed. “I’ll give you six months at most.” Peggy didn’t moan or complain. She was determined to make it on her own and she has for the last eighteen years.

She doesn’t whine about her limitations, she chooses instead to strengthen her strengths. Peggy has things she wants to communicate. Her handwriting isn’t too good, so she entered a program to gain computer skills and she has.  She’s about to complete and publish an article about her relationship with her aunt who recently passed away – someone she misses dearly. Peggy has something to say and one way or another, she will find a way to say it.

At the end of her training, someone said to Peggy, “You have a strong, clear, powerful voice and you must always write and share it.” Peggy’s voice does not complain or blame. It only claims to be heard and celebrated in victory.

So if you hear yourself blaming or complaining, pause and reflect. In the midst of the frustration, disappointment, and challenge find one strength, benefit, or victory and claim it with everything you have. If you can’t come up with anything, at least think of Peggy and smile.

Thanks,
Anita

Who’s Got Your Back?

February 16th is a transformative day in my life. Back in the 1990’s I was crushed by an elevator car on my way to make a presentation. It changed my life forever – first very negatively and ultimately in extremely beneficial ways. One of the most important “medicines,” was wonderful people. They supported me, pushed me, and encouraged me to not just bounce back but to go beyond what I believed was possible. For all of you (and I hope you know who you are)  – Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

My promise to each of you is to know that I have your back.

Have a great Wednesday,
Anita

Write an Encouragizer Note and Positively Change Your Life

Do Your Words Create Success?

Ever notice how certain people can say a word or two and conflicts break out, stock markets plunge, and pessimism prevails? Words are extraordinarily powerful. 

“Word Power” isn’t just applicable to presidents, CEOs, and other assorted muckedy mucks. It’s relevant for everyone. You can literally change people’s lives with your words. Your words speak volumes to either disempower or to inspire. Listen to what you say today. Consciously and sincerely use your words to encourage the people you meet. Watch what happens and report back! 

Thanks,
Anita

 Write an Encouragizer Note and Positively Change Your Life