I was chatting with someone this week who is not feeling very happy or successful. He shared some of the obstacles he is facing and they are certainly not insignificant, yet I sensed there was something more.
As he recounted situation after situation, his angst, upset, and frustration emanated from a sense that others had deeply disappointed him – really done him wrong. I hesitated for a moment and then finally asked him, “Since you can’t change them, what can you do?”
At first, he continued to complain and blame others, but then something shifted in him. It was a tiny shift. He realized how much power he had given to others – they had so much control over his happiness and success or lack there of. While I don’t believe my friend will change completely overnight, I saw a glimmer of hope in his eye.
My lesson from my friend is one I need to hear again and again: Blaming and complaining does nothing but zap our energy, confidence, and capacity, so why do it. A sense of appreciation (for even one positive thing we see in the other person) expands just about everything good in our lives.
Have a great day,