I was chatting with a friend the other day who is working with a woman (Let’s call her Emma.) Emma kept running into obstacles wherever she went and felt that many people were against her. Her “strategy” was to speak first and make her point before anyone could get a word in.
While she was heard (at least superficially), most people were put off by her behavior and overall negativity. Emma viewed this as “their” problem and she complained about how unfair these people were and how they blindsided her.
When my friend (in a nice, therapist kind of way) pointed out how she was the common denominator in all of the various circumstances, Emma started to yell at him and then paused instead. The next week they met, Emma fessed up to how maybe she did make things worse for herself. That’s a great first step.