I was chatting with someone recently who felt like he had been treated badly. He was very upset, angry, and believed that what had happened was going to impact his career for years to come. He wanted to repair his reputation by making his case – which he started to do in a really long email.
I felt that his approach would only make things worse, so I shared the story of a good friend who has similar experience many years ago. Barb went to her mentor for advice and instead of supporting her to “go after this mean person” who treated Barb so poorly, he suggested something that almost made Barb run from the room. Her mentor suggested the following:
- Focus on even one thing you value about the individual
- Then, get very clear that you want this person to have 100% success in every area of life, be absolutely happy, and always be treated with dignity and respect.
Even though highly unconventional, this approach worked for Barb, for me, and I bet will for the person I spoke to recently.
While it’s easy to want to get back at the person who was unfair to us, it’s much more powerful and beneficial to build a bridge – if not for the other person, then for you.
Have a great day,