Expectations are an interesting thing: on the one hand, we need them or we wouldn’t get anywhere. On the other hand, if we expect too much too soon and/or from the wrong person, we could be seriously disappointed.
So what is a person to do? I spoke to a friend who faced this dilemma and here’s what he did:
- First, he did his homework and made sure that he was asking someone who actually had the information and resources to help him
- Second, he looked for ways to give before asking for anything
- Third, he made the “asks” appropriately sized for the length and depth of the relationship
- Finally, he acknowledged the people who assisted him for whatever they gave him (even if it wasn’t all that he wanted).
My friend found that taking this approach enabled him to zero in on the people who wanted to support his efforts, had the time and attention to do so, and gained something from the relationship as well. The results have been really good and my friend has healthy expectations and an appreciative mindset.