Success Building

Your success and happiness (for that matter) is a result of having others want to help you – and that they care enough to follow through on your behalf.

For someone to invest in you like that, you will need to develop trust, consistency, and reliability. Do these three things and be very, very appreciative and you pave the path for what you want in life.

Of course, help others as part of the way you live.

Enjoy your day,
Anita

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Say “Yes And” for Greater Success

“But” is a often used word, especially if you want to look agreeable while criticizing whatever is on the table. If you listen to others’ words, the word “but” will show up shockingly often.

So why is this a problem you may wonder? “But” is a stopper word. No matter what else you may say, “but” negates everything that comes before it. For example, “I like your idea, but . . ..” Contrast this with “I like your idea and . . .” The first one can be viewed as lacking positive acknowledgement and holding lots of criticism – shutting down dialogue.. The second shows you value what the person is saying and you made have suggestions on how to make it even better – which lends itself to collaboration and a potentially stronger relationship.

Something to think about.

Enjoy your day,
Anita

Procrastinate For Greater Success

It’s an amazing thing about procrastination. Most people hate it, fight it, and beat themselves up when they do it. By the way, I am no exception.

That said, I have learned to let procrastination be my teacher, guide, and motivator. While this seem a bit counter-intuitive, trust me it will help you achieve even greater success and happiness.

So the next time you notice that you are procrastinating, stop and ask yourself three questions:

  • Do you even want what you are pursuing?
  • Do you want to achieve this goal, but it’s not a priority at this time (and may be in the future)?
  • Is this too much to take on and you could chunk out a tiny babystep and experiment with that?

Whatever your answers, be kind to yourself. Kindness can take your WAY further than negative self judgement.

Have a great day,
Anita

Are You Giving Your Best?

It’s easy to write out your goal, get really excited about it, and then consciously or unconsciously not give it your all. This is not a criticism, but an observation I see myself do  – and many others as well.

While there may be many reasons for this, the biggest one is a fear of failure – with the notion (perhaps erroneous) that you can’t REALLY fail if you hold back. So, here’s what I do: I scale back my goal in the short term to build a series of smaller successes to get me to my bigger goal (sometimes faster than expected.)

Set yourself up to win – and you will increase your chances.

Have a good day,
Anita

If You’re Not Breaking Through . . .

Have you been working on a goal and not making the progress you hope? Do you feel you have been making every effort and zero benefits?

Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself:

  • Are you all in or are you splitting your attention among a variety of goals? If this is the case, you could be dissipating your time, energy, and other resources. So focus.
  • Could you be feeling any resentment today any people, organizations, or circumstances? If yes, immediately find at least one thing you appreciate. Please do this or you could be stuck forever.

Have a great day,
Anita

When Someone Won’t Help You

I was chatting with someone recently and she had been asking for help and not getting much assistance. As I asked her a few questions, two things emerged: 1. She asked for a lot from people who didn’t know her well and 2. When people offered her advice, she criticized their suggestions.

While it may seem pretty obvious why she didn’t receive help, many do follow her pattern – even if it’s more subtle than my friend’s. So the next time you don’t receive the support you want – ask yourself: “Am I asking for too much given the level of this relationship?” and “Am I expressing gratitude for what I was given (even if it was just the person’s time)?”

Have a great day,
Anita

Unhelpful or Helpful?

I have this tendency – to allow myself to be swayed by people and situations that could be perceived as negative. The operative phrase here is “could be perceived as negative”. Not actually negative, but my attitude makes me feel that it’s a foregone conclusion.

So, I am taking a different approach these days. Instead of embracing the potentially negative side of a person or situation, I am asking myself if my perspective  is helpful or unhelpful. If my take is encouraging me to take value-creating action, then I keep it. If not, then I choose to shift.

Have a great day,
Anita

Do You Have Enough?

Do you have enough? “Enough of what?” you may wonder. Most people usually answer the enough question with something material – jobs, homes, or money.

While each of these is great, they may miss the main ingredient of your health, happiness, and sense of satisfaction. I really want to know if you have a purpose or mission that is important to you and serves as a compass for your direction, goals, and short and long term decisions.

So what is at the center of your life and is it solid and enduring enough to help you live the life you want – now and far into the future.

Have a great day,
Anita

The Gracious Success Connection

I was working with someone recently who was asking for my advice about a significant career transition. We spoke about a variety of things and after each idea, he responded with a tone of voice that made me feel like he thought it was a waste of his time. As this happened one after another after another item on our agenda, I was getting a bit fatigued – yet was committed to him and continued on.

Toward the end of our meeting, this individual told me he was so happy with the time we spent together and was recharged, motivated, and knew what steps to take. I must admit that I was really (pleasantly) surprised.

There are two lessons here: first, we shouldn’t take any one reaction as a critique of how everything is going and second (if you are the sender of feedback), check in to be sure that you are inserting a bit of gracious appreciation along the way.

Have a great day,
Anita

Success Boosters

I talk to people every day who are looking for some special idea or tool that will accelerate their success and happiness. Yet their focus is often misplaced.

Success comes from within – starting with what you want. From there it’s important to take action that leads you to your goal and, of course, surround yourself with people who want you to succeed as much as you do.

Warmly,
Anita