I do my best to say “thank you” when someone does something for me – from a colleague to a bus driver. Yet there are times when I am lost in my own challenges, doubts, and busyness and “forget”. I have come to realize that this is a lost opportunity – for me and the other person.
Even when people don’t reply or don’t seem to be paying attention, they usually are.
So keep saying “thank you” and you will change your world for the better.
It’s so easy to say “thank you” out of habit. If you do, it will collapse into a worthless cliche. Even worse is when you have resentment or even grudges bubbling below the surface and a friend encourage to feel grateful for that, too.
Ugh! This seems like a mean game where you can’t win, be happy, and live authentically.
Yet, I do believe there is a way out of this mess. What I can absolutely tell you is that this is not for the fainthearted. What I am suggesting is like training for an ultra marathon, running it, and starting the training all over again. It is exhausting, grueling, and sometimes yields no external acknowledgement. So PLEASE go for it again because, when you do, your transformation can change you, your world, and my world, too – for the better.
Forget gratitude? – not a chance, even if it occasionally does “slip my mind”.
Of course, never helping any friend is not a good idea. Yet, it is important to be sure you are not fixing your friend.
Listening, kind encouragement, and support are great to boost a person and help her gain courage, confidence, and resolve. This enables the other person to stand on her own and win – while knowing you are there.
Have a great day,
I was with a group of friends last evening and one person (who I don’t know that well) came up to me at the end of the gathering. She thanked me for a card I sent her recently. I was so glad that my words on paper and with a stamp made a big difference in her life and heart – mine, too.
Being nice in small and genuine ways can be really important – to another person and to you!
While mistakes can create good learning experiences, perhaps not all are necessary.
Here’s one big mistake you don’t need to make – and that is not asking for help when you need it. When you ask for support, you benefit two people: you (the person to receives the support) and the person so gives it. I would say that the person who is able to help you will feel valued, encouraged, and empowered.
Gratitude can be easy. Think of a gift that a friend gave you, a compliment from the love of your life, or a bonus when you completed a big project. You receive good stuff and “thank you” bursts forth with almost no effort. Keep that easy gratitude coming all the time. It’s awesome to have obvious, wonderful rewards coming from every which way. While this type of gratitude may be easy, you get “points” for acknowledging what you have received. Yet easy gratitude has its limits.
Next there is revolutionary gratitude. This is the type of appreciation that is nearly impossible to find because it is buried under negative people, circumstances, and other yucky things. What I am referring to are times when you think (and even say), “why me?” I experienced this when I was crushed and nearly severed in half by an elevator. On top of this, the elevator repairman went home and left the elevator on. His behavior nearly killed me and I was not happy with him – to say the least.
Yet, as long I couldn’t find some gratitude for him and the nightmare of being trapped in an elevator shaft and severely injured, my life was irrevocably stuck and miserable. I had to discover gratitude somewhere in my situation – my life depended on it.
In the end I did find gratitude – little by little. This gratitude was revolutionary – it took me through unbelievable pain into a place that was better than I ever could have imagined.
I wish you the ability to feel gratitude every day. Then share it!
Have a great day,
I once met a friend’s colleague (let’s call him John) whose goal was to die with the biggest pile of money. While it’s nice to have wealth to be able to accomplish what you want and give to others, riches by themselves are inadequate at best – and not a really strong motivator over time.
That said, John failed to realize his goal of giant piles of money. With his determination, I wondered why. When I asked one of my mentors, she told me that John lacked two things: a purpose greater than himself and the money and the relationships to make his goals a reality.
I don’t think I quite “got it” at the time and today I do. More valuable than gold are a purpose or mission (often based on a vow) and the advocates to help you get where you want to go, stay encouraged during the rough spots, and you celebrate your victories.
Have a great day,
Oh my gosh, things can get you down, even when there is nothing really to be upset about. I notice this so clearly and honestly, I get stuck and sometimes don’t know what to do. I even wallow – perhaps even some today. Remember: each of us is human.
So, my strategy is do see the brilliance in others today – challenging! Oh yes, I need to start by seeing my own magnificence. Without starting with me, it’s impossible to get out of being down – and I certainly can’t be of help to anyone else (which I want to be able to do).
More to follow.
Let’s be victorious together!
It’s a funny thing about support – it’s impossible for anyone to help you if they don’t know why.
Why falls into a few categories – why achieving your goal is important to you, why is can be important to this particular person, and why is could be important to others.
Map out these whys in a clear, simple, and straightforward way. No need for big words, complex concepts, and grandiose claims. Make it heart to heart. That’s what matters most.
Have a great day,
I was with a group of friends last evening and we were discussing how to create a better environment by treating each person in front of us with dignity and respect. While not the easiest thing to do, when we are able to lead with our humanity others will have a “template” to do the same. This can create a positive ripple beginning with us.
Before the evening ended we did an exercise. Each person selected the name of another person in the room and wrote down the good stuff they experienced about that person. What emerged was a whole host of wonderful things – ultimately, each person was able to see on paper the value he or she brings to the world.
In the end, each person left smiling.
Today, let three people know the value you see in each of them.
Start the ripple,