Conflict is Not a Contest

I will admit that I can be a “little” competitive at times. While this is good when playing a game and keeping score, it’s not so good when you have a conflict with another person.

A winner take all approach means that the solution is sub-optimal and that someone will need to lose.

It DOESN’T have to be that way.

Experiment with this: approach the other person with empathy, compassion, and heart. Then look for the underlying needs of you and the other person. Come up with a solution from that place and see how you can both “win”.

Have a great day,
Anita

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Generosity Rules

I had a bit of a challenge as my day started. While it wasn’t huge, it was unsettling. Yet my day completely turned around for the better (BIG TIME) out of the generosity of two people – a stranger and a colleague. The first went of of his way to see that I had options with something that was broken and the second person found a way for me to have the object immediately replaced.

Their generosity of time, kindness, and heart made my day and gave me hope about the goodness of people in the world.

Thank you both!

Warmly,
Anita

Gratitude as a Shortcut

Gratitude is certainly a shortcut to many things  – as a start, greater wealth, happiness, and well-being.

Yet there is a catch: gratitude will yield little if you expect rewards. It will only come when you express gratitude without any strings attached. Then the goodies will overflow.

Gratitude is a shortcut and a paradox.

Have a great day,
Anita

The Power of Small Data

Many people talk about the power of big data and while this is true, it only tells one side of the story. Small data, or looking at an individual, can help you create value immediately. When you focus on appreciating, acknowledging, and/or improving the life of the person in front of you – you can have an impact right now. What’s more, the positive influence you have on that one individual can ripple out in ways you can even foresee. So what are you waiting for? Act now.

Enjoy your day,
Anita

See the Value

It a “funny” thing – when you see the positive value in others, your value, credibility, and opportunities increase. It’s really about reputation. Are you known as a person who is demanding, has a sense of entitlement, and never satisfied? Or, are you the individual seen as generous, appreciative, and supportive?

The first approach will have people staying away from you and be unwilling to help you. The second approach creates a foundation of short and long term relationships that can benefit you and others.

Have a great day,
Anita

What’s Right in Front of You

I was with a group of friends recently. There was a lot of complaining about the state of the world, how big the problems are, and the impossible nature change. As I was about to get sucked into this vortex of negativity, I made myself pause and say a few things. “Guys,” I said. “Could we go down a different track? My mentor says this again and again, ‘Who is right in front of you? Help that person!’ This might not seem like a big deal, it is. Start with one and go from there.”

While there might have been some eye rolls, I felt better – and it was a reminder to me that when I feel I can’t make a difference, it’s just not true. See the person in front of you and smile and wave, say thank you, or go out for coffee and listen more than you speak.

Enjoy the day,
Anita

Handwritten Happiness

I will admit that I was not the best thank you note writer as a child. It was a bit of a tussle to get me to put my words of appreciation onto cards, put the cards into envelopes, and address them.

Yet that all flipped a number of years ago when I read a chapter in a book on writing that celebrating note writing. This actually changed my life forever – for the better.

From that point forward, I started writing cards, letters, and postcards – more than a thousand every year. I love, love, love to write them. My spirits rise, I feel more connected, and my confidence soars. What’s even better is that my appreciative feelings are felt by the receiver of my notes. They tell me in person, by phone, and in email.

It’s a small thing and the positive ripples are wonderful and far reaching.

Write! Bet you can’t send just one.

Have a great day,
Anita

Generous Success

Success ebbs and flows depending on your generosity and appreciation. So if you are currently in one of those ebbs in the cycle, amp up your gratitude, kindness, and value of others.

Warmly,
Anita

If You Expect Too Little, DON’T!

It’s a very funny thing about expectations.

If you set them too low – for yourself and/or others – the limits you place will reduce your outcomes, opportunities, and confidence. In many ways, expectations become the type of self-fulfilling prophecy you don’t want to have.

So, set expectations of yourself and other that are a stretch. When you reach them, go bigger!

Enjoy the ride,
Anita

To Achieve Your Goals Faster

What does it take to achieve a goal? Well, lots of things – from making the goal clear and concrete to actually taking a bunch of progressive babysteps?

So why doesn’t everyone take the steps to zoom through their goals? For me, personally, I stall out when I lack encouragement. Think of encouragement as someone or something that inspires courage (this is actually what the word means). I, and many others, just need a bit of a boost on the courage side and the action, momentum, and results are easier to create.

So if you need a little encouragement, find it. An even better idea: give encouragement to another person. Then you both get the boost.

Enjoy your day,
Anita