Choosing failure or success? Does this seem like a ridiculous question to even ask?
Yet some people defeat themselves in their hearts and minds first. What I can tell you, with considerable certainty, is that those around you will follow your lead and “help you fail”.
So, if you are pursuing a goal or dream, mobilize your skills, talents, and experiences – with lots of “evidence” of your capabilities. Pull out your list whenever you need a boost to strengthen your determination, conviction, and resolve.
If you aren’t achieving your goals, what could be the problem? While the source of your stalling out could be a variety of things, the one I see most prevalent today is resentment.
Now this doesn’t have to be gigantic grudges. Actually those are the easy to identify and correct since they are so obvious to you and those around you. The resentment that does the most damage to you, you life, and even your finances are the small, subtle forms that creep in as tiny negative comments about another person (or even many people) – especially behind the person’s back.
Instead of letting this nasty talk prevail, make yourself find at least one thing you value about the person and change complaint into appreciation. As corny as this may sound, I can almost guarantee that you will feel better and prospects in your career and life will grow.
Experiment and see for yourself.
I was chatting with a group of friends and the more I listened (to myself and others), the clearer it became that we needed to jump and take courageous action. While it’s scary to step out beyond what is comfortable, courageous action can be small – one tiny step toward your goals and dreams can create just the breakthrough you need. Once you take that first step, the next one can be a bit bolder. And so it goes.
Enjoy the ride,
I was listening, reading, and watching a number of things in the last week and it wasn’t pretty. I suspect that these presentations that focused on others’ faults were clearly “chasing” me.
Given this, I needed to look inside my own heart and mind and at least acknowledge my “inner complainer”. That was the first step to transforming challenges, instead of “pretending” that there is nothing I could do about them.
Good news: it works!
Have a great day,
I was with some friends yesterday and one person shared a very powerful experience with us.
She told us how we had typically noticed others’ weaknesses first and seeing a person’s strengths lagged behind. Although she wasn’t aware of the impact of this approach on her confidence, determination, and vitality – switching to a “strength catching” focus positively changed everything for her. Even now, if she goes back to her old ways – seeing a weakness first makes her weak.
Something to think about and explore.
There is power and success is seeing a strength first.
Have a great day,
I have been known to give an answer (often my opinion) before a question is even asked. Even if I am “right”, my being presumptuous could invalidate my contribution.
Questions can clearly lead us to greater success and happiness, if we pause and listen to question, really think about the answer, and share what we want to say with humility. Then your brilliance can shine. You can create significant value, make the other person feel good, and who knows – you could uncover something really special.
Have a great day,
Have you ever noticed that when someone is speaking to you, you only half listen? While it’s possible to not “get caught” if your 50% is of the most important points, it’s far from optimal. That said, I suspect that you will miss out on the real connection that takes place when you give your rapt attention.
So if you want all of the benefits of a relationship, do a bit of power listening (with your head and your heart.)
Have a great day,
I met a friend who is struggling to make ends meet in a job where they don’t really treat him well. He feels that he has no place to go and is feeling more and more resentful.
I wouldn’t say that how he felt is unreasonable; his situation is untenable. Yet, during our conversation, it was clear that no matter how “right” he felt, that point of view was getting him no where. For the first 30 minutes of the conversation, he wasn’t willing to budge. However, the more he talked, the more he realized that he was causing his own demise. He decided to take a small step to restructure his attitude.
While a shift of perspective is an iterative thing, each small step moves us closer to greater success and happiness.
Have a great day
I was working on a project today that has me a doing a deep dive into the world of entrepreneurship. One of things that came up again and again is that founders who fail don’t listen. Instead of paying attention to the people around them, these entrepreneurs either think they know everything or are afraid of appearing naive or uninformed.
Regardless of the reason, not listening creates a gap of knowledge, wisdom, and powerful insights. So listen deeply and reap the rewards.
Have a great weekend,
I spoke to a friend over the weekend and she was sharing with me a major decision point in her life. She had committed several years to a career that she used to love, but didn’t anymore. My friend is one of those finance types who is a whiz at accounting, financial statements, and acquisitions. Well, no longer.
That said, she was having a hard time saying no to her old career and yes to a new one. It’s totally understandable after such an investment (on her part) of time, sacrifices, and money (for her education).
The other aspect was that she felt like she was giving up – and in a sense, she is. Yet there is a big difference is rolling over and quitting and choosing another path.
My friend is doing just that. She is making the changes incrementally – in BabySteps -so she can manage the process and her state-of-mind.