Active or Reactive Listening

Listening is a tricky proposition. While we may want to listen and know that we “should”, it’s hard to not want to listen just enough to be able to jump in with a “brilliant” comment, suggestion, or solution. Yet, this type of reactive listening creates a disconnect – and ultimately could lead to all kinds of problems and few. if any solutions.

In a world of divisiveness and negativity, active, caring, and authentic listening is a small thing you can do to build bridges, understanding, and even some positive solutions.

Have a great day,


Encouragement Can Lead to Discouragement

Encouragement can actually lead to discouragement.

How could that possibly be?

Okay, encouragement isn’t a bad thing. In fact it can be really really good. Yet, it’s incomplete.

For encouragement to be effective it needs to be accompanied by very specific and practical guidance. To be really stellar encouragement, the guidance (of strategics, tactics, and tools) needs to be tailored to the person receiving the encouragement.

Go out and encourage someone today.


Create Victorious Solutions

We all face challenges at one time or another. Virtually all people have the inherent capabilities to develop a solution. The question is it a victorious solution or just a quick resolution that feels more like a concession than anything else.

So think about something you are facing and how can you make it a clear victory. Remember when you transform something within you, who you become is the real victory.

Have a great day,

Inside Out Success

Many people I work with look for ways to change the people in their lives, the specific circumstances, and the environment. They wish each of those things would suddenly become more helpful, supportive, and positive.

Yet, I’ve never seen it work that way. Success (and happiness) begins on the inside. When we start with ourselves – changing our own behavior first – this leads to changes external to us. It’s not magic, but a function our ability to see more options – in terms of how we think, perceive, and act.

Have a great day,

Say “Yes”

For the next 24 hours say yes to more things – just as an experiment. At the end of the 24 hours, sit down and write down all that you have gained and who helped you. Thank those people for allowing you expand your perspective and life.


Success Connecting

At this time of year, I spend a lot of time with individuals planning and driving toward their next career and role. I believe they have a “secret” wish to be given the perfect contact who can give them the job of their dreams.

Yet the focus is backwards. Instead, think of who you need to become to be ready for someone else to put his or her reputation on the line for you. When you do, you increase the chances of having someone endorse you exponentially.

Who knows -you could land that dream job after all!

Happy connecting,

Missing the Prize

I am taking a class this week on “Marketing the Startup” for fun – okay, I am a full-fledged geek. I own this.

That said, yesterday the professor shared a story about a VERY successful venture capitalist who was hounded by the CFO of a tech startup looking for funding. The venture capitalist wasn’t interested because he didn’t think there was room for another company in the space. He was wrong and didn’t invest in Facebook in the early days.

What can we learn from his mistake:

No one (no matter how amazing) gets everything right – good news for me.
Keep an open mind when you are presented with things that seem an obvious no

Class is about to start.

More to learn,

Guide and Encourage

When someone seeks counsel, he or she may want instructions on how to solve a particular problem. So be cautious. Specific advice often doesn’t help.

Most people need encouragement and reasons to persist. Show them you believe they’re capable and can overcome their present challenge.  In doing so, you empower them not just for today but for the future.

Have a great day,


Respect and Honoring

The next time you walk down the street pay attention to the people you see.

Are you concentrating more on how each individual is different than you or more on how they are the same?

Whatever you focus on will transform your environment. Decide how you want it to be. Consider a balanced approach – see each person’s humanity while respecting and honoring their differences. What’s one way you can do this today?

Enjoy your day,

Unhappily Married to Differences

What does it mean to be attached to differences?

It often indicates that a person is trapped in her negative, limiting reactions to those seeming differences. In this mode, a person may judge others in a less than favorable way.

If this sounds like you, what can you do today to open your mind and “unattach” to the differences you see in others?

Have a great day,