I was with a group of friends yesterday and the conversation veered in the direction of the interplay of hope and challenge. While hope is a great motivator and starting point, it’s important to keep in mind that challenges will come – if for no other reason than to help you grow.
The questions become – how prepared are you for the obstacles and do you shrink away from them or are excited and elevated by them?
So, how can you make challenges your friend and not a fiend?
Have a great day,
I was working with someone (let’s call her “Sharon”) last year who hated her job and wanted to get out – period. Yet, she was having a hard time convincing anyone to hire her – which is surprising because she is quite talented.
She was down about her search and Sharon asked to meet. One of my questions was: “Are you running toward a new job or away from your current one?” Her honesty was refreshing and she admitted that we was sprinting away for her current role and company.
As we spoke, she realized that she wouldn’t hire someone who was running from a negative situation. This awareness led Sharon to pursue jobs that she actually wanted. As she did, Sharon gained more and more traction and landed a new role that she is happy to have.
So even if you really don’t like your job, seek one to pursue based on what you like, the value you can bring, and your aspirations. This can actually shortcut your process.
It happened this week. I faced an impasse.
I really dislike (read as “hate”) being stuck. Whenever I hit that point, I lose confidence, motivation, and momentum – which just solidifies the impasse more and more.
That’s when I feel that the impasse is permanent and that I will never get past it. UGH! I lose hope – which is never a good thing for anyone.
Despite how bad I feel (which can be really bad), I still desperately search for a glimmer of something positive, even a bit of forward movement. The path to get there is always through appreciation. When I find even one person, circumstance, or situation I am grateful for, a shift occurs. It’s not that I am out of the impasse, that can take time. I just come to “realize” that there is a possibility to get beyond the impasse.
Have a good day,
Doubt may not seem so bad at first – a little gnawing in the back of your mind prompted by a small mistake, a slightly nasty comment, or comparing yourself to another person. Yet if you don’t find a way to question the validity of the doubt trigger, you will build a foundation of doubt in your mind and heart. Then then next time and the time after that, little bits of doubt (if not challenged) strengthen a negative self-belief that won’t support your goals, dreams, and aspirations.
In the end, the real danger of doubt is that it could ultimately derail your career and life.
So don’t let it. Please refuse to take doubt triggers at face value. Counter each and everyone of them with the ferocity of a lion – as if your life depends on it because it actually does!
Have a great day,
This morning, I was reading a paragraph from a book I have read many times. Yet today, the words felt like they jumped off the page. To paraphrase, if you complain and grumble (even if you feel justified), it’s like stepping on the brake with serious negative consequences to your success and happiness. Even more, if complaining and grumbling become a habit, you can lead your life into discouragement, doubt, and even despair.
I’m not suggesting that you force yourself to never complain – who could do that (not me). Yet before you do, pause.
Then find someone you appreciate and let him or her know.
Have a happy and successful day,
Oh my gosh, things can get you down, even when there is nothing really to be upset about. I notice this so clearly and honestly, I get stuck and sometimes don’t know what to do. I even wallow – perhaps even some today. Remember: each of us is human.
So, my strategy is do see the brilliance in others today – challenging! Oh yes, I need to start by seeing my own magnificence. Without starting with me, it’s impossible to get out of being down – and I certainly can’t be of help to anyone else (which I want to be able to do).
More to follow.
Let’s be victorious together!
Challenges are needed for us to grow – and they are not always fun or pleasant. Yet they are essential. This is true even though my go to reaction to a challenge, especially when it appears to be negative, is to hate it.
Then I pause and ask myself two things: 1. What are the “gifts” in this situation with this person? and 2. How can I (and the other person) be victorious? When I pause, I give myself perspective and the opportunity to learn, grow, and win over myself and the situation.
As a teenager, I was told that I was ungrateful. At the time, it didn’t feel that way. I didn’t think I needed to express gratitude when people gave me things that demonstrated that they didn’t know who I was, much less even care.
You might chalk this up to teenage angst, but I believe it was something quite a bit deeper. My lack of gratitude came from a general lack of appreciation for myself – and as it said, you can’t give what you don’t have.
Over the years, as I appreciate myself more I am able to be genuinely grateful for the people, organizations, and circumstances in my life. I also attribute this having a mentor who exemplifies gratitude and my own openness to grow. This is not to say that I have a perfect “score” on gratitude. I know it’s time to grow a bit more when my complaining increases and my appreciation declines. For me, I jump in and write a few more cards – or even give the bus driver a wooden token of appreciation.
Thank you for reading this,
I was with a group of friends last evening and we were discussing how to create a better environment by treating each person in front of us with dignity and respect. While not the easiest thing to do, when we are able to lead with our humanity others will have a “template” to do the same. This can create a positive ripple beginning with us.
Before the evening ended we did an exercise. Each person selected the name of another person in the room and wrote down the good stuff they experienced about that person. What emerged was a whole host of wonderful things – ultimately, each person was able to see on paper the value he or she brings to the world.
In the end, each person left smiling.
Today, let three people know the value you see in each of them.
Start the ripple,
Are you a booster or a squasher? What I mean by that is do you elevate others when you interact with them or discourage them?
I do my best to encourage others, yet there are times when my ego gets the best of me. I end up wanting to win more than support the other person. At those time, I take a step back and realize that either the other and I both win or we both lose. Clearly, I don’t want to lose. That’s when I shift my heart and mind and become a booster.
Have a great day,