Be a Benefit

Be a benefit to those you see and talk to.

Certainly do not sacrifice yourself or be untrue to what you believe in. However, do focus on the good in each person and circumstance – and share the good in you with others.

With that in mind, you will be a benefit in others’ lives – guaranteed. And the benefits to you will be enormous.

Thank you,
Anita

Advertisements

The Zero Sum Illusion

How generous are you really? How happy are you to see others succeed?

When I entered the “real world” after graduating business school with my MBA, I was scared. I had never worked full time in my life. I approached my career with energy, intelligence, and enthusiasm, but without a strong sense of true self-worth. After all, what could I bring to the workplace that would be embraced, valued, and appreciated that others hadn’t already thought of. Needless to say, I started my professional life insecure and viewing the world as a zero-sum – if you win, I must necessarily lose.

It was hard for me to celebrate my friends’ and colleagues’ successes. I really wanted to (and felt guilty that I didn’t), but I was stuck in the mindset that they got a piece of the pie, I’d go hungry.

As I began to “work on” my inner self, I realized that the zero-sum model was completely bogus. “Anita,” said my friend, Caryl, one day, “the glass isn’t half empty nor half-full. It’s overflowing. So stop moping and get a bigger glass.” How profound! Caryl is wise woman.

I took Caryl’s advice to heart and I began to view the world through my “ocean model” – there’s plenty of water out there and everyone can have a swim.

I am happy for all the wonderful advances my friends and colleagues make. Instead of feeling diminished, I feel proud, encouraged, and motivated to challenge myself to succeed in the ways I desire to.

So when you hear about a friend’s, family member’s, colleague’s, or neighbor’s success – be the first to stand up and cheer. Then go out and make some of your own good news and send it on to me!

Have a great day,
Anita

Every Action Counts

How do you behave when no one is looking and you don’t get “extra credit”? While some people make a big show of their kindness and generosity in public, others do incredibly good works behind the scenes.

One such friend comes to mind. He is a truly amazing human being. Everyone knows it, but not because he tells them. I’ll call him EveryMan, since every man and woman could learn a few things from him.

Well, I’ve known EveryMan for a long time. I met him volunteering for my MBA alumni club. I was giving a speech and he was making club announcements in his role as President. He became club president not as a resume enhancer, but for what he could give back to the school.

As time went on, we became friends. One day over lunch, this successful executive slipped in that – oh, by the way – he provides scholarships to two inner city young men, so that they can attend private school. “I want them to have opportunities like I’ve had,” he told me. As I looked at him, this poised businessman suddenly had transformed into a slightly shy and awkward adolescent who had just gotten “caught” doing something good.

“They even write to me and they’re doing great,” he said. A big smile spread across his face – like a proud parent.

We went on with our lunch and conversation. I never looked at EveryMan the same way again. I bet his parents are proud.

Each of us contributes in different ways. EveryMan gives scholarships. Debbie walks to raise money to find a cure. Ellen spends her “extra” money buying supplies for the kids in her elementary school class.

So what will you do? Donate food to your local food pantry. Volunteer in your community. Share encouragement with a friend. It all counts. You count. So go out and do something.

Warmly,
Anita

Get Younger

It has been said, “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.”

So what about you? How are you growing younger?

Here are some thoughts from a 70 something: “Get moving.  Self-worth is very connected with your physical condition.  Take a walk. Ride a bike. Go dancing. Play football. Do a “Sit & Be Fit” class. You choose.” It works for her. No matter what your age, it just might just work for you, too.

Enjoy your life,
Anita

No Need to Be Perfect

My friend, Barbara, is a marathoner as a runner and in life. She lives her life with perseverance, kindness, and determination. She has an amazingly long list of accomplishments – personally and professionally.

So it surprised me when told a group of us that for most of her life she felt weak. Yet this “flaw” actually makes her accessible to all kinds of people from all walks of life.

So look at a “limitation” in your life. How can you make this an encouraging strength beginning today?

Warmly,
Anita

Now Is the Time and You Are the Person

Some people believe that most people don’t want to change and so must be dragged kicking and screaming to change – and if violence is required, well it’s part of the territory.

Yet, endurable and sustainable change requires a different approach. The most powerful means is a “revolution” in the heart and soul of each person on the planet. As each of us heals the pain, hurt, and anger within, our lives (and our environments) will be elevated. Isn’t that what we all want.

Now is the time and you are the person.

Do it,
Anita

Respect and Honoring

The next time you walk down the street pay attention to the people you see.

Are you concentrating more on how each individual is different than you or more on how they are the same?

Whatever you focus on will transform your environment. Decide how you want it to be. Consider a balanced approach – see each person’s humanity while respecting and honoring their differences. What’s one way you can do this today?

Enjoy your day,
Anita

Unhappily Married to Differences

What does it mean to be attached to differences?

It often indicates that a person is trapped in her negative, limiting reactions to those seeming differences. In this mode, a person may judge others in a less than favorable way.

If this sounds like you, what can you do today to open your mind and “unattach” to the differences you see in others?

Have a great day,
Anita

Appreciative at First Sight

Ever look at the people you come into contact with and only notice their flaws – a few extra pounds, a missing button, or a squeaky voice. For the next 48 hours, put a new filter on your “sight” so that what you see first and foremost is each person’s internal and external strengths, beauty, and goodness.

Have a great day,
Anita

Courage: Pass It On

People are feeling challenged by many things today and many aren’t sure if it’s even worth doing anything to change their circumstances.

Often deep down inside, they see the value of transforming their situation, but lack the courage to do much about it. That’s where you come in.

First, give others your full attention and listen with your whole heart. Second, find ways to respect the other person’s life. And third, from that respective, share stories that show how others have done what they want to do.

As you encourage and inspire the other person, watch what happens to you.

Warmly,
Anita