Are you Clear Enough to Succeed?

I was meeting with a really brilliant friend who is so humble, she doesn’t truly recognize her deep talent.

That said, she has so many ideas they can overwhelm her and she has a hard time actualizing her research and creativity. One thing about my friend is that she is open to feedback, ideas, and support. So when we met, we tackled the BIG THING in the room – and that is focus. What I learned from her is that focus must be matched with interest/passion for something. If the passion is missing, the motivation, energy, and the realities of daily life will take over and derail your goals and dreams.

I am happy to report that my friend is making progress on something she really wants to do.

Have a great weekend,


The Power of “Let Go”

There is another piece to an alternative to being controlling (yesterday’s post). There power in letting go. I will freely admit that I am not big on this. This is no shock to those of you who know me.

Well, I did let go of the original speaker who couldn’t make it for an upcoming event. You’ll never believe what showed up in my inbox today – an email from his publicist with a date in early April  when we can be the speaker for a different event.

Is it a coincidence between my letting and his coming back? Maybe or maybe not. That said, a good thing happened when I held onto the goal of having him speak and letting go of when it would happen.

Have a great day,

An Alternative to Being Controlling

I am working on a project and thought that I had everything nailed down for the speaker. Well, all of a sudden dates and times were changing, there were delayed responses to email, and more changes. Last Friday, I thought that everything was set. Control set and in place – or so I thought.

As I was meditating, I wanted to know if the dates and times were solidified and I wanted to know right then and there. At the moment I finished my meditation an email instantly popped into my inbox. It was yet another change. Even though I received exactly the information I asked for, I wanted to control the situation and find another date and time for my original speaker.

That said, I stopped myself and began to explore other possibilities. I am happy to say that I have a new speaker who is thrilled to do it.

My lesson: begin controlling rarely creates the best outcome. Live a little – be open and see where it takes you.

Have a great day,

Do You Pre-empt Great Ideas?

I was meeting with a friend the other day and him to brainstorm some ideas around a book project on which I am working.  My goal was to gain specific, clear, and concrete tips that I could implement sooner rather than later.

After about ten minutes my friend smiled and said, “Anita, not to be harsh, but I don’t think you want new ideas. I believe you have already made up your mind and are looking for confirmation.” Thank goodness for the directness of my friend. Otherwise, we could have wasted the entire hour and I would have annoyed him and gained nothing new.

After I regained my composure, I thanked my friend and promised to go into a listen only mode for the next fifteen minutes – which I did. When I focused with an open mind, I gained a new perspective, things to think about, and practical ideas I could begin to implement that day.

While it’s great to know what you stand for, being open to new thoughts, insights, and strategies can accelerate your growth, success, and happiness.

Have a great day,

The Difference Between Believing and Actualizing

I was listening to a speaker yesterday who really inspired me to deeply self-reflect. A key theme of her talk was the word “Actualize”. If you look in the dictionary, the word actualize means “to make a reality”. I am all for making my goals a reality and helping others do the same.

The speaker shared an important distinction between believing something and actualizing it. While a belief in something is wonderful and a strong belief can be perceived by others as commitment, if we don’t demonstrate that belief by making our goals a reality – those beliefs will not be inspiring.

So her talk made me pause and think – where do I actualize my goals and dreams and where I am more talk than action? Whew, a challenge bit of self-reflection! My next step is to sort through what I truly want and then marry what I believe with actual proof (via my attention and action).

Have a great day,

Is Your Talent “Hidden”?

I was chatting with a very capable individual yesterday and as we began to zero in on where he wants to go next in his career, he became really quiet. While I didn’t say anything, the expression on my face must have looked like a question because he said, “I just don’t see where I have talent that is deep enough to be marketable.” Instead of telling him that he was missing all the good stuff that he is, I began to brainstorm with him where he has added value in the past and where he would like to do so in the future.

What became pretty obvious to both of us are his unique configuration of skills, experience, and strengths. He has much to offer.

So if you talent appears to be hidden, talk to a friend who may be able to see what you cannot.

Have a great weekend,

A Courageous Woman

I was with a group of friends last night and I heard a number of stories, but one really stuck with me. Picture this, a working mother with two daughters – one four years old and the other seven weeks old. She shared about how she had pulled back and taken herself out the the game. What she meant by that is that she felt she no longer had the time, motivation, or power to challenge herself to do great things as she had pre-motherhood.

What impressed me the most was her deep self-reflection and commitment to go beyond her perceived limitations. A great lesson for my own life.

Best regards,

The Power of Perspective

The last month has been a bit overwhelming for me – from the sub-zero weather to many people asking me for lots of stuff. Okay, I am not the biggest fan of windchills at -40 F. That said, I am fortunate to have a safe place to live, warm clothes, and much more.

Then there is the question of people asking me to do things. When I take a deep breath and pause, I smile. I am so happy to be of service to others and a resource to many.

The only difference between feeling anxious about my world or excited about the very same things is perspective – and my friends, colleagues, and family provide this, too.

My lesson: I just need to remember that a shift in perspective can transform so much in an instant.

Thank you and have a great day,

Above the Noise

I don’t know about you, but I have so many things vying for my attention. Part of me wants to say yes to everything and I feel guilty when I say no. Another part of me is learning to know my priorities, choose how I spend my time accordingly, and honor my decisions.

I will admit that doing so is challenging for me, but I am taking babysteps to rise above the noise and do my best.

Have a great day,

The Guts to Win

I was with a group of friends yesterday and I was truly amazed by the courage they displayed in turning around very challenging family and work situations. These obstacles were not of the tiny variety. They were big, complex, and overwhelming. Each person won because s/he chose not to just cope, but to transform the environment from the inside out. This inner transformation is not for the faint-hearted as it requires taking full responsibility (even if it looks like another person is the cause of your suffering), driving past the fear and doubt that inevitably emerges, and allowing others to support you.

How could they not win?

Have a great day,